LONELY BLACK BOY

Mark and Ethan (photo from the couple's Facebook page) Please read the first sub-section of this article to learn about the significance of Mark and Ethan's relationship for me. TL;DR: The beauty and genuineness of their relationship helped me keep the hope of finding love for myself alive, despite all the challenges I've faced on that journey. What does this mean for me? The first emotion I feel is shock. When I was writing that article about the couple's YouTube channel at the start of this year, I couldn't have imagined that they would part ways in this same 2018. Funny enough though, I'm not sad or depressed; not even in the slightest bit. It was clear to see from their break-up announcement video that their love for each other is still very much alive. They both said that they shall remain best of friends and it was comforting to see Mark express affection for Ethan in the video by rubbing gently on Ethan's hairy lap while Ethan was sharing...

This morning, I almost ended a NoFap streak that I've been on for at least, the last one month. I've not opened xVideos or amateur gay porn Twitter for even once in that period, these two being my normal go-to places for on-demand sexual entertainment. I had followed a Twitter notification in my e-mail inbox to a popular picture-tweet whose joke I didn't get. In the process of reading the tweet comments (to help me get the joke), the display picture of one of the commentators caught my attention and without much thought, I opened their profile on another tab. The picture was of the well-toned torso of a black man. And even though my conscious didn't realize why I clicked into the picture so fast and thoughtlessly, my brain knew what it was doing. It remembers like its yesterday, the delicious avalanche of pleasure-inducing chemicals it gets bathed in whenever I've dug into such profiles in the past. A few seconds after I opened the profile (having given up ...