LONELY BLACK BOY

It's a rant. I didn't even proofread this. I just let it all out. Hope there is at least some coherence in there. Forgive any typos/incoherence. ---------- My period of exploring anal sex is over once again. To be honest, I think it might be so because I messed it up (pun intended) myself. Virtually all the times I bottomed, it was unplanned, random. Meaning that I didn't have time to prepare and then things more often than not got messy. Which inevitably has an effect on how I feel about the whole thing. It's hard not to feel some shame when at the end of a process, there's an overhanging smell of your own poop in the room. Switching places with any of my partners in any of those scenarios, I feel like I would be scarred and probably not try sex again with the person until we're sure everything would be clean the next time. You know, these experiences leave some questions in my head regarding my repeat sexual partners? Is it that the pleasure of the sex f...

Let's call him Janis . I met Janis on Grindr about three weeks ago, and we undoubtedly had some chemistry. He was definitely more conversational than 90% of the guys I engage with on the app. Soon after our first few messages, he asked that we go on a date. Of course, I accepted since he came across as a sensible person. After a few frustrating misses, we finally made it happen last Saturday. It was at one of the eat-out places in VI. We arrived there at about 8 pm and took a seat in the outdoor seating area, quickly getting to the business of demystifying one another. He led, telling me the interesting story of the event which triggered his homocuriosity and subsequently, led him to having affairs with other guys. After that, he told me of how his several failed relationships have left him in a state of despair about gay partnerships. I think he told me this because when he asked what I was looking for, I told him, without mincing words, that I'm looking for a boyfriend. ...