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The 50-year-old Finnish man whose love I squandered over lust

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I met him, Joni, a gentle-mannered Finnish man one weekend, in July of 2021 when I was visiting Estonia with a small group of Nigerian acquaintances. It was through Grindr, and he was one of the rare ones interested in having a balanced conversation with me. I kept in touch with him even after I returned home. We exchanged WhatsApp numbers and I think it was as early as in the first week of getting to know each other that we decided I would be visiting him in his Finnish home town of Turku. Eventually, in October, I made the trip. I got permission from my company to work abroad for a week. And Joni graciously granted me his place for this much-needed escape from my homely cage. Joni is a very kind man. Perhaps, it was because I gleaned this that I decided to fly out to spend a week with a man whom I had never met, in Finland, a country that I had never been to. And this kindness, oh, the kindness did not change when I arrived. He showered me with care and attention and goodies all thro
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My body wants to get me fat or Why I don't exercise regularly

I'm struggling to get started with writing this, really. So, I will not overthink it, no. Done is better than perfect! Now, I will just be lazy and make a list. - - -  If it were not to be for the following two maladies of mine, I would exercise regularly. And I think, regularly enough to actually reach my weight goals without difficult diet rules that I hardly ever respect for more than a few days at a time. Knee Injury First, we have got that pesky knee injury that I sustained while running one fateful night in 2018. It has plagued me ever since and has turned me into a 1.5-legged man. This condition means that I haven't been able to run consistently since that accident. And by God, running was like my best friend for the last few years before I sustained that injury. The loss of my perfect knee is an absence that I still feel, even today. Perhaps, I should have listened to the guy in the Sunscreen Song and taken better care of my knee while I had it. Cholinergic Urticaria So
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Money and reputation are my new God (or Fapping for Charity)

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It is Sunday! On Friday, before getting out of bed, I rubbed one out to some short-length PornHub video. This was despite me having told myself that I would refrain from fapping to porn until my date which was due in a few days time. I failed myself. Moments after, while taking my morning shower, an exciting idea came to me. It was about doing yet another NoFap challenge. If you have been following this blog for any length, you might be aware of my obsession with the idea of NoFap. (Just Google NoFap if you have never heard about that) I get some self-righteous satisfaction from setting a goal of not jerking off for a fixed length of time and actually achieving it. In the past five years, I think I must have set a NoFap goal, at least five times. Most times, of course, I co-opt a friend or acquaintance, knowing that my own self-accountability is zilch. Sometimes, I've been successful, and rightly proud of myself. Other times, not so much. The "Fapping for Charity" idea Th
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Location: Europe
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When a Turkish guy carries the bad market called "Lonely Black Boy"

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Last Friday, I travelled to the capital city for a hookup with Marvk, a Turkish guy. We had decided earlier in the week to meet that weekend after he sent me a few of his pictures on Grindr and passed my kissability test. Easy peasy, hookup without stress. 😋 On Friday, right after returning from work, I washed my hair, took a shower and right after hauled myself to the train station. The train ride to Marvk's city passed quickly. I was already feeling excellent from how well my week went and the anticipation of my debaucherous intensified things. An hour and a half after, I was at the train station in the capital where Marvk lives. From there, I took a bus for another 40 minutes to his nearest bus-stop. It was my first time in this part of the city, so I saw it as an excellent exploration opportunity for me. After wandering about for a bit trying to no avail to locate the entrance to his apartment building, I sent him a picture of where I was standing. A few minutes later, a
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Location: Europe
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A Post-Hookup Selfie featuring a Nigerian gay and a German guy (Explicit! Not Safe for Work!!)

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Location: Europe
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Nigerian gay returns to Grindr for the umpteenth time

Not once, and not twice this weekend, have I thought about jumping back on Grindr after not having used the app for about two months. The reason that I decided to walk away from those unproductive chatting grounds in the first place is multiple-fold. Firstly, the pandemic lockdown season kicked in in March 2020 and that meant that if I didn't want to be one of those unfortunate statistics, I needed to keep my dick in my hands: pun intended. My stewpidness actually had a hook-up right after the government announced the lockdown and I spent a few weeks being anxious that I might have contracted the COVID-19 from my casual sex partner. Even though we used a condom, I spend a lot of time kissing his face. What a darling he was that the first thing he opted to do when he got into my apartment was washing his hands. On another note, it started to dawn on me that my primary need for being on Grindr was not being met. I am still fairly new in this country after having only ever lived
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Location: Europe
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Coming out to my straight Irish friend in an European city center pub

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We had already been together that February Friday night for at least two hours. Since I'm not much of a drinker, I had asked Andy to pick the first spot for our TGIF night together. He had selected an Irish pub in the city centre where we each had had at least one pint of Guinness: a proudly Irish drink. Because I've got social anxiety, I always plan ahead for my meetings with people that I'm not yet familiar with. So one of those pre-meditated questions which was also one of the first that I asked Andy at the pub was: "Did you grow up eating a lot of Irish potatoes" ? Surprisingly, his answer was yes! Yes, actually I was surprised as I'd expected that he'd answer in the negative because I've encountered a lot of scenarios where stereotypes of a place end up being far from the reality. Hence, I'd actually imagined that the popularity of that food (Irish potatoes) might fall into that basket of outdated stereotypes. Photo by  Engin Akyurt  from 
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