When a Turkish guy carries the bad market called "Lonely Black Boy"
Last Friday, I travelled to the capital city for a hookup with Marvk, a Turkish guy. We had decided earlier in the week to meet that weekend after he sent me a few of his pictures on Grindr and passed my kissability test. Easy peasy, hookup without stress. 😋
On Friday, right after returning from work, I washed my hair, took a shower and right after hauled myself to the train station. The train ride to Marvk's city passed quickly. I was already feeling excellent from how well my week went and the anticipation of my debaucherous intensified things.
An hour and a half after, I was at the train station in the capital where Marvk lives. From there, I took a bus for another 40 minutes to his nearest bus-stop. It was my first time in this part of the city, so I saw it as an excellent exploration opportunity for me.
After wandering about for a bit trying to no avail to locate the entrance to his apartment building, I sent him a picture of where I was standing. A few minutes later, after failing to describe adequately via chat how I could locate the building entrance and asking me to wait where I was, he appeared.
"Oh, he's cute but rather tiny", I thought as he greeted me with the warmest smile that I've received in a long time. "I hope you don't find me intimidating", I asked. Not sure that he understood the question because I can't remember getting an answer that I remember. As far as I'm concerned, he laughed it off.
As we made our way into his studio on the topmost floor of what I estimate is a 15-floor apartment complex, three observations triggered me.
As he prepared me some chicken and salad (I told him I was starving while on the inter-city train), we engaged in small talk. Typical chit-chat, getting to know the basic things about one another. At some point, I stepped over to his open windows and took in the view of the sky and surrounding city. Splendid! "Are you scared of heights"? I asked without turning to face him. "No, I'm not, he said". "Me neither", I replied.
Not long after, dinner, prepared by the affable Marvk, was served. I dove into it as I watched him dish out some for himself. He came to sit close to me, his CRT television on a stand separating us. I continued to interview Marvk as we ate. But maybe I shouldn't call it that because now you might think that I interview everyone to determine if I want to have sex with them. Let just call it "Getting acquainted". I might be too self-absorbed, but I remember the conversation with me doing most of the questioning. That's why I'm inclined to call it an interview.
After the meal, well satisfied, I got on my toes in a squat and asked him a question. "What if I told you now that I don't want to have sex anymore"? After throwing a gentle tantrum that involved airing his disbelief at how I travel all the 100 kilometres between my city and his and then change my mind about sex, he asked me to leave his apartment right away.
I was shocked, but then, maybe I deserved it. Perhaps I should have scrutinized Marvk's picture more closely and asked for a video call before picking my sorry ass up and travelling so far for a hookup. Maybe I should have asked for his height, weight, BMI, shoe size and social security number before that. Perhaps I should have asked for a video call to try and establish chemistry over a video call.
Had I taken some of those steps, perhaps I would have spared Marvk the disappointment of not having sex. In preparation for a hot night with this black and sexy hotrod, he had probably douched 😭. Unfortunately, I did not take any of those steps. Hence, I found myself, 50-miles from home, face to face with a man who I'm not sexually attracted to.
As I picked up my things, I knew how disappointing my swift turnaround must have been for him. Even though he maintained a levelled tone, I could feel his anger through the words he spoke. I let him know that I was very sorry about this. That moment broke my heart, maybe just a little less than it did his. I have been rejected a ton of times, and I know how difficult it can be to deal with the feeling of being... unloved.
Before leaving, I called my friend who lives in the same city, and he agreed to let me pass the night at his place. I tried to give Marvk a hug as a token of comfort, but he rejected that. Me in his shoes?; I would have jumped at such an offer. Or so I think until it actually happens to me.
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On Friday, right after returning from work, I washed my hair, took a shower and right after hauled myself to the train station. The train ride to Marvk's city passed quickly. I was already feeling excellent from how well my week went and the anticipation of my debaucherous intensified things.
An hour and a half after, I was at the train station in the capital where Marvk lives. From there, I took a bus for another 40 minutes to his nearest bus-stop. It was my first time in this part of the city, so I saw it as an excellent exploration opportunity for me.
After wandering about for a bit trying to no avail to locate the entrance to his apartment building, I sent him a picture of where I was standing. A few minutes later, after failing to describe adequately via chat how I could locate the building entrance and asking me to wait where I was, he appeared.
"Oh, he's cute but rather tiny", I thought as he greeted me with the warmest smile that I've received in a long time. "I hope you don't find me intimidating", I asked. Not sure that he understood the question because I can't remember getting an answer that I remember. As far as I'm concerned, he laughed it off.
As we made our way into his studio on the topmost floor of what I estimate is a 15-floor apartment complex, three observations triggered me.
1. Crappy Entrance
The entrance to Marvk's apartment complex looked to me like that of an abandoned building. First of its kind that I have seen since I started living in this country 9 months ago.
2. Marvk's Tormented Neighbor
At the ground floor elevator (lift) clearing, we were joined by arguably the most troubled-looking person that I have seen since in a long time. He was smoking heavily (or should I say, "angrily"?) and pacing as he waited for the lift to arrive.
When the lift door opened, he beckoned to Marvk and me to go in first. That move triggered my spider-sense, and as I stepped forward, I made sure to keep him in my peripheral vision. "I'm sorry", he said as he joined me and my weekend boo in the elevator. For what? I wondered - not aloud.
During the ride up, I asked him how he is doing. He was looking down all of the time. But he managed to respond. "I am fine", he said, not once looking into my eyes even though I was hoping to really take a look at him.
As he walked away from the lift, my mind pictured a soul writhing in vain to break free from the thousand chains which bound it to the ground. "Bye-bye", I said, in the hopes that in some way, that made his day a little better.
3. The lift landing
on Marvk's floor was full of old piss. It smelled like a corner close to a Lagos beer parlour into which drinkers empty their bladders on a nightly basis. WTF! Where on earth am I? Nonetheless, I played it cool, not mentioning anything to Marvk as we made our way to his studio.
Scared of mindless sex but not of heights
Marvk's studio, it turns out, looks much better than its environment. Thank goodness! It was 22:00, and I had not made alternative arrangements for where to sleep that night. Marvk had agreed to let me spend the night at his place, after the sex.As he prepared me some chicken and salad (I told him I was starving while on the inter-city train), we engaged in small talk. Typical chit-chat, getting to know the basic things about one another. At some point, I stepped over to his open windows and took in the view of the sky and surrounding city. Splendid! "Are you scared of heights"? I asked without turning to face him. "No, I'm not, he said". "Me neither", I replied.
Not long after, dinner, prepared by the affable Marvk, was served. I dove into it as I watched him dish out some for himself. He came to sit close to me, his CRT television on a stand separating us. I continued to interview Marvk as we ate. But maybe I shouldn't call it that because now you might think that I interview everyone to determine if I want to have sex with them. Let just call it "Getting acquainted". I might be too self-absorbed, but I remember the conversation with me doing most of the questioning. That's why I'm inclined to call it an interview.
After the meal, well satisfied, I got on my toes in a squat and asked him a question. "What if I told you now that I don't want to have sex anymore"? After throwing a gentle tantrum that involved airing his disbelief at how I travel all the 100 kilometres between my city and his and then change my mind about sex, he asked me to leave his apartment right away.
I was shocked, but then, maybe I deserved it. Perhaps I should have scrutinized Marvk's picture more closely and asked for a video call before picking my sorry ass up and travelling so far for a hookup. Maybe I should have asked for his height, weight, BMI, shoe size and social security number before that. Perhaps I should have asked for a video call to try and establish chemistry over a video call.
Had I taken some of those steps, perhaps I would have spared Marvk the disappointment of not having sex. In preparation for a hot night with this black and sexy hotrod, he had probably douched 😭. Unfortunately, I did not take any of those steps. Hence, I found myself, 50-miles from home, face to face with a man who I'm not sexually attracted to.
As I picked up my things, I knew how disappointing my swift turnaround must have been for him. Even though he maintained a levelled tone, I could feel his anger through the words he spoke. I let him know that I was very sorry about this. That moment broke my heart, maybe just a little less than it did his. I have been rejected a ton of times, and I know how difficult it can be to deal with the feeling of being... unloved.
Before leaving, I called my friend who lives in the same city, and he agreed to let me pass the night at his place. I tried to give Marvk a hug as a token of comfort, but he rejected that. Me in his shoes?; I would have jumped at such an offer. Or so I think until it actually happens to me.
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| Photo by YURI MANEI from Pexels |
Lookoo-Lookoo Oyinbo
As I disappeared towards the bus-stop away from the apartment building, I caught a young man walking towards the apartment entrance looking at me on and off every two seconds. After he did it the 5th time, I waved at him and beamed a smile (although I doubt the smile was noticeable given the distance).
Instead of reciprocating, he just faced his front and disappeared into the entrance. Was he embarrassed that I caught him staring? He could have come to say hi, and I would have been happy to talk to him about absolutely anything. Even if it was as absurd as: "Why are you black"?
Am I a bougie bitch?
On my way to the bus-stop, I messaged my friend about what had just happened. I told him that the triggers I had on the way into the apartment might have contributed to that. "You are such a Bougie bitch", he replied. I mused about how much progress I've made socially since I entered the labour force 8 years ago. |
| Oh my goodness. You're such a bougee bitch 😂😂 |
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PS:
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