LONELY BLACK BOY

Brief background: I like guy. Guy has not exactly been receptive or encouraging of my advances. More precisely, he's done something I take to be him giving me the cold shoulder. My instinctual reaction is to detach totally from him; to return the cold shoulder till he contacts me again first. Till date, I've not heard from him. It really hurts, mostly because I thought the feelings were mutual at some point. Also, because he didn't even go through the trouble to explicitly state his lack of interest. He simply just went mute, and this is someone with whom I've really connected - clearly, I see how this was all just in my head all along. Friday saw me being at the verge of sending one of the following at different times of the day: "I'm really shocked at your conduct" . Pretending to be oblivious of the bad conduct on his side and just finding an excuse to see him on a casual note: "When are you going to Oshodi, let's go buy some books toge...

Hey Poet, How are you doing? It's been a while since I heard from you. Two days, but it seems longer than that. Well, it should be no news by now that I like you. I like you in a way that makes me imagine that we can make something meaningful together, out of encountering each other. I might not have said this directly, this might be a mistake on my part, but I feel like I've said it many times in my attempts at getting to see you again soon. I'm truly hurt that you've not responded to my sleepover invitation all week, despite promising to let me know by Wednesday. It was even more painful to try to get to you on Thursday, unsuccessfully, and to see that you made no attempt to reciprocate. I'm not blaming you for anything, as really, you owe me no obligations. I had dreamed up a near future where you were with me, and I with you. Where you're one of the most important things to me, and I, to you. My dreams, well, they're now being gently lai...

Since the start of the week, I've been looking forward to the coming weekend. From the picture of it that I've got painted in my mind, it would seem like the first weekend of the rest of my life. I'm expecting a beautiful young man whose physical beauty and rare personality has all but captured my heart. He gave me the most wonderful companionship I've had in a long time last Friday. So good it was, that all week, I've not been able to stop daydreaming about how good I felt, just being with him. Little surprise I invited him over (quite shadily though) to spend this weekend with me. When someone makes you feel that good, you don't ever want to let them leave your side. My intentions for this meeting are as follows:

All day long, I've been daydreaming back to yesterday. Just yesterday, but it feels so distant. Do I not deserve to have the happiness of being with you for more than a few hours? To make love to you all night, and when we can go no more, fall asleep at peace in your strong arms. Is it something I might have done in my past life, that makes me undeserving of the bliss of staring into your beautiful face for days on end? Or is it some wrong act of mine in this lifetime that makes it a distant dream to wake up beside you all of my days? If it's something I've done, I hope the guardians of the universal currents are at attention to receive my soulful prayers. Dear guardians, it would seem like I have come upon the one, as it is written. I pray you, that by the mighty powers that the universe has bestowed upon you, my sins be forgiven. Have mercy, dear guardians, for I cannot bear to wait for the next lifetime to be the source of the glow in his eyes. I want to be free to...