Love rekindled
http://lonelyblackboy.blogspot.com.ng/2015/01/baring-my-heart-to-him.html
This post is about the same man whom the post behind above link is about. Feel free to read that for some context to this post.
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Yesterday, a dream which I had long relegated into the not-achievable zone came to realization. And the most beautiful part was this: "I was not even expecting it cos' I had stopped trying". I kissed him, one and many more times. Just thinking right now about the fact that this happened gets me so excited every single time. I was so sure I had felt his luscious lips for the very last time that evening in January 2015.
A couple of months ago, we rekindled our connection and since then, we've been able to meet several times because we're both based in the Lekki axis of Lagos. Before the first time we saw in recent times, it had been over one year since I set eyes on him. He was still as beautiful as ever.
When one extra day was added to the muslim holidays which came at the start of July, I decided to take a chance and holla at him if we could hangout all day on the extra day. And to my delight, he was not only down for it but he came across as enthusiastic about it.
You would not understand the way I felt about getting his buy in for a date so easily until I let you know how I failed woefully at getting his attention as soon as he departed from our very first date on January 2, 2015. After several weeks of trying to get him to see me again, I finally threw in the towel for the sake of my dignity. The fact that he would not see me again after a first date on which I was convinced we really connected is arguably the biggest heartbreak of my lifetime. So, to be honest, the reality that I could now get this same person to keep me company at the swipe of a finger was a little difficult for me to come to terms with. Until yesterday, I wondered if he was really getting any fulfillment from our recent associations or whether he was merely being a nice guy.
I had a truly fulfilling outing with him on that extra holiday, stopping by at about four different spots in Lekki/V.I., top of which was Nike Art Gallery at Elegushi beach road. From his unsolicited feedback, the feeling was mutual, even though my interpretation of his feedback was, "You're still as boring as fuck anyways, but of course, I'm a great guy and it's only polite to tell someone that spending a whole day with them was fun".
Lest I forget to mention, he now has a boyfriend. Yes he has a boyfriend; that's what he told me and so far, I have not been informed of a breakup. But we kissed yesterday. Of course, he initiated it. I never would have, no matter how much I felt like it, for two reasons:
- I had absolute conviction that he's not into me
- I believe you do not get love by fighting love, which would be the very interpretation of me going out of my way to get him when he's supposedly in love with someone else
We were at a pretty lonely art gallery in VI yesterday (Saturday) when he made the offer. I told him I was feeling bored, and next thing he said was: "Let's make out"! God, I thought he was kidding. I absolutely did not take him seriously until he went on to show me how serious he was by playing with my cakes. My oh my. Long story short, we ended up making out right in the middle of one of the empty spaces of the sparse gallery. Dream come true!
From this point on, the rest of the day's activities till we parted at 10:30pm can be summed up into enjoying good music and each others bodies to the extent that we could in public without compromising our privacy. His luscious lips in-between mine, nothing short of sumptuous. The best romance happens when you don't anticipate or plan for it!
You know, since we reconnected again. It has occurred to me several times to ask him if there was anything there in his heart for me. To get the truth out of him about why he treated me so poorly when I desperately wanted him in 2015. But, of course, I always junked the thought on the premise that I did not want to risk losing the friendship that we had. My thought was: "better to be ignorant and have a false hope than to know and then ruin everything due to despair". So, you should know how delighted I feel that things have naturally progressed to this point between us, with me just being myself all the way.
Let me tell you the most rewarding part of yesterday though. He finally answered the question that had been at the back of my mind since after our very first date. And this was without me asking. He told me how he was not into me after our first date because he thought I was a tad too judgmental, coupled with the fact that he was just recovering from illness on the date day. He proceeded to let me know how this was back then and how this has now changed significantly. He literally proclaimed the fact that he did not like me, but now that he knows me better, he does!!!
I can't wait to see where this leads. Of course, on my end, I want this to blossom into one major thing which I've always aspired to have; the reason I signed up to Grindr that night in November 2014. A relationship in which we both love each other so much, no distractions would ever threaten our union. The kind of Mark and Ethan romance which inspires thousands around the world that there is hope.
He still has a boyfriend though. Though, from all indications and to my evil delight, it does not appear that things are going on very well between them. For one, I wonder when they get to see and do boyfriend things together because for the past two weekends, he's either been at home or with me. And of course, except he's just an uncontrollable dog (which I sincerely hope is not the case for my probable future self), if things were great between them, he would not make a move on me.
I will keep you posted; subscribe and stay tuned to this unfolding love story of my life!
This post is about the same man whom the post behind above link is about. Feel free to read that for some context to this post.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yesterday, a dream which I had long relegated into the not-achievable zone came to realization. And the most beautiful part was this: "I was not even expecting it cos' I had stopped trying". I kissed him, one and many more times. Just thinking right now about the fact that this happened gets me so excited every single time. I was so sure I had felt his luscious lips for the very last time that evening in January 2015.
A couple of months ago, we rekindled our connection and since then, we've been able to meet several times because we're both based in the Lekki axis of Lagos. Before the first time we saw in recent times, it had been over one year since I set eyes on him. He was still as beautiful as ever.
When one extra day was added to the muslim holidays which came at the start of July, I decided to take a chance and holla at him if we could hangout all day on the extra day. And to my delight, he was not only down for it but he came across as enthusiastic about it.
You would not understand the way I felt about getting his buy in for a date so easily until I let you know how I failed woefully at getting his attention as soon as he departed from our very first date on January 2, 2015. After several weeks of trying to get him to see me again, I finally threw in the towel for the sake of my dignity. The fact that he would not see me again after a first date on which I was convinced we really connected is arguably the biggest heartbreak of my lifetime. So, to be honest, the reality that I could now get this same person to keep me company at the swipe of a finger was a little difficult for me to come to terms with. Until yesterday, I wondered if he was really getting any fulfillment from our recent associations or whether he was merely being a nice guy.
I had a truly fulfilling outing with him on that extra holiday, stopping by at about four different spots in Lekki/V.I., top of which was Nike Art Gallery at Elegushi beach road. From his unsolicited feedback, the feeling was mutual, even though my interpretation of his feedback was, "You're still as boring as fuck anyways, but of course, I'm a great guy and it's only polite to tell someone that spending a whole day with them was fun".
Lest I forget to mention, he now has a boyfriend. Yes he has a boyfriend; that's what he told me and so far, I have not been informed of a breakup. But we kissed yesterday. Of course, he initiated it. I never would have, no matter how much I felt like it, for two reasons:
- I had absolute conviction that he's not into me
- I believe you do not get love by fighting love, which would be the very interpretation of me going out of my way to get him when he's supposedly in love with someone else
We were at a pretty lonely art gallery in VI yesterday (Saturday) when he made the offer. I told him I was feeling bored, and next thing he said was: "Let's make out"! God, I thought he was kidding. I absolutely did not take him seriously until he went on to show me how serious he was by playing with my cakes. My oh my. Long story short, we ended up making out right in the middle of one of the empty spaces of the sparse gallery. Dream come true!
From this point on, the rest of the day's activities till we parted at 10:30pm can be summed up into enjoying good music and each others bodies to the extent that we could in public without compromising our privacy. His luscious lips in-between mine, nothing short of sumptuous. The best romance happens when you don't anticipate or plan for it!
You know, since we reconnected again. It has occurred to me several times to ask him if there was anything there in his heart for me. To get the truth out of him about why he treated me so poorly when I desperately wanted him in 2015. But, of course, I always junked the thought on the premise that I did not want to risk losing the friendship that we had. My thought was: "better to be ignorant and have a false hope than to know and then ruin everything due to despair". So, you should know how delighted I feel that things have naturally progressed to this point between us, with me just being myself all the way.
Let me tell you the most rewarding part of yesterday though. He finally answered the question that had been at the back of my mind since after our very first date. And this was without me asking. He told me how he was not into me after our first date because he thought I was a tad too judgmental, coupled with the fact that he was just recovering from illness on the date day. He proceeded to let me know how this was back then and how this has now changed significantly. He literally proclaimed the fact that he did not like me, but now that he knows me better, he does!!!
I can't wait to see where this leads. Of course, on my end, I want this to blossom into one major thing which I've always aspired to have; the reason I signed up to Grindr that night in November 2014. A relationship in which we both love each other so much, no distractions would ever threaten our union. The kind of Mark and Ethan romance which inspires thousands around the world that there is hope.
He still has a boyfriend though. Though, from all indications and to my evil delight, it does not appear that things are going on very well between them. For one, I wonder when they get to see and do boyfriend things together because for the past two weekends, he's either been at home or with me. And of course, except he's just an uncontrollable dog (which I sincerely hope is not the case for my probable future self), if things were great between them, he would not make a move on me.
I will keep you posted; subscribe and stay tuned to this unfolding love story of my life!
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