I don't do younger guys. A Nigeria Grindr cliche

Yesterday, a younger guy (22 years old) direct messaged me on Grindr. I'm currently 26 (a few months short of being 27). I opened the message and customarily went on to check out the lad's profile. He had a decent but not outstanding face pic on the profile. I read the profile write up and there was nothing remarkable to find there. I ignored his message.

Then it occurred to me how of recent, this has been my general feeling about (and reaction to) younger guys who reach out me on Grindr. I just feel like there'd be very little substance and chemistry between me and someone who has little 'real-life' experience. And since I'm not the type who can ignore everything just to get some booty, I generally pass on such advances.

I can vividly remember (what was probably) the first time I was rejected on Grindr. It was in November of 2014, in my first week ever of using Grindr. The guy in question was a guy who was in his 30's at the time. During the chat on Grindr, I saw his face and torso pic and those things piqued my interest. So, I asked for his BBM and we got talking on there. But not too long into the BBM conversation, he told me I was not his type after I sent him my picture 😭.

Of course, having had next to no prior dating experience, I couldn't deal with rejection and could not understand why someone would not want to get with awesome me. Most of the guys I'd met prior to that wanted me, so I was like, "who is this one, please"? I went on to ask him what his type was since I didn't fit the bill. 

Only in hindsight do I acknowledge how awkward doing that is, after someone tells you you're not his type. The guy taught me a good lesson by refusing to answer that question, despite the pressure I mounted on him to. But in my defense, I just wanted to know what good enough is, since I was deemed "not good enough" by this 'amazing' person.

On a related note, I can also remember being bitter when I was 23/24 and I fell out of the "I don't do younger guys" people's requirements (age-wise). Yes, an inordinate amount of Lagos guys have a message on their Grindr that tells younger guys to "STAY THE FUCK AWAY"!

At the time (my 23's/24's) I felt like, "these guys are so silly. they don't know what they're missing by not giving me a chance". I used to feel that way because I see myself as a person of substance who has always been beyond my age in terms of maturity. Yes, I've had guys tell me this, so it's not just my intuition.

So, you can imagine how it feels that just a few years down the line, I am now in a place where I can relate to those rude guys that made me feel like being young is akin to having an incurable disease. What an irony! 

Once I had this realization, I posted the status below on my Grindr profile yesterday. I thought I'd just put this out here as a way to add some context to that profile message. If anything though, you can bet that I won't be putting "No younger guys" or "Kids. Stay away!" on my profile anytime soon. It's one thing to have a preference and it's another to be a mean and rude person.

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