LONELY BLACK BOY

I hardly ever watch the television. Hence, for most of my post under-grad years, one of my few go-to sources of entertainment (roughly 5 years) has been YouTube. I'm subscribed to several YouTube channels and I can't deny the fact that the majority of these channels have added a lot of laughter, joy, inspiration, and knowledge to my life in the past few years. Of all these channels, if I were to pick out two and delete all the rest, my choice would be as follows: MarkE Miller's channel or Mark & Ethan The School of Life I pick these two channels for totally different reasons, but the common thing is that each of them has enriched my life beyond my expectations since I started watching them. Now, let's talk about my favorite YouTube channels. MarkE Miller's channel or Mark & Ethan Mark and Ethan, my favorite couple in the world The MarkE Miller Youtube channel is owned by a talented American videographer and vlogger who goes by the name of M...

Let's call him Janis . I met Janis on Grindr about three weeks ago, and we undoubtedly had some chemistry. He was definitely more conversational than 90% of the guys I engage with on the app. Soon after our first few messages, he asked that we go on a date. Of course, I accepted since he came across as a sensible person. After a few frustrating misses, we finally made it happen last Saturday. It was at one of the eat-out places in VI. We arrived there at about 8 pm and took a seat in the outdoor seating area, quickly getting to the business of demystifying one another. He led, telling me the interesting story of the event which triggered his homocuriosity and subsequently, led him to having affairs with other guys. After that, he told me of how his several failed relationships have left him in a state of despair about gay partnerships. I think he told me this because when he asked what I was looking for, I told him, without mincing words, that I'm looking for a boyfriend. ...

I was blocked on Grindr And because I'm made of flesh and blood, I feel rejected. I feel that subtle throb of pain, lurking in the background of my heart. Once again, my fragile heart is trying to recover from a kick; a kick back from fantasia into reality. But I've done this more times than I can count on my fingers. Hence, I can carry on pretty well with the rest of my day's activities while this healing process in underway. I don't know why getting blocked by this person even matters at all to me. He sent me a pic and from the look of things, he probably won't have been my type anyways. He's the daddy type. Old but muscular and stocky. He sent me a selfie which showed he had a six-pack. In response, I sent him two of my best. Two seconds after, the Grindr thread disappeared right before my very eyes. He gave me no chance whatsoever to explain myself for looking so... (whatever way I looked that is apparently the opposite of what he's looking out...

My latest and sole crush is my colleague who sits adjacent to me in the office. His name is Namzo*. And I just had to admit today, that he's got me smitten. If he asked me out today, I'd say yes like I've been waiting all my life for it. Namzo is not a particularly physically attractive person and at first glance, he didn't draw a second look from me. This is not to say he's anything comparable to an ogre though; he's got moderate good looks. However, for the first few days in the office, I barely looked at his face and would probably not have recognized him if I'd seen him on the road during that period. Yet, just a few weeks after, I'm in this state where I have to fight off fantasies of us being partners in a blossoming love relationship. The first time I spoke to him was after a meeting at company HQ. I asked for his name and asked him to tell me what he does for the company. His initial answer was sort of vague, so I don't real...