All that I need to be happy

In many ways, I can describe myself as a minimalist. I'm acutely aware of the fact that more possessions inevitably means more responsibilities (maintenance/decision making). Recently, I've been thinking a lot about pulling back from the endless rat race and perhaps, repurpose my life around the experiences that I actually value versus constantly seeking to be more skilled in my chosen career line so I can earn more and get closer to the top. There's a lot of life to be enjoyed in-between bottom and top and my aim is to laser-focus on that instead of living a life whose primary aim is to get closer to the top.

In that light, I thought it might be a meaningful exercise to do some introspection and come up with a list of the individual components I need to have a fulfilling life. Seems like a good first step towards designing a deliberate lifestyle where you're actually working towards a desired and clear vision of the future. Without that, I think I'll tend not to apply myself fully to anything and have the tendency to keep jumping from one commitment to another, just because I think it's a quicker way to the top than what I'm currently doing.

For each item, I'll try to be as descriptive as possible in how it applies to me. Here we go:

Great food

This definitely comes first. The best part of my day these days is lunch time. I think it's really fulfilling too after working hard to have a wide range of options to choose from in terms of what culinary delights you want to indulge in. For me, the best solution to having this sort of variety without breaking the bank is to make your food at home.

Now, with regard to this, while I want to eat well prepared, tasty and a wide range of meals, I'd be lying if I said I had the passion or patience to put in the work required. So, ideal scenario would be to pay someone to do that. By my estimates, this would cost between 50k and 100k a month in Nigeria for both the foodstuffs and the cook, depending on where I'm living and how much an actual good cook would accept as payment for making me fresh food every day.

Comfortable living conditions

At the point where I am in life, this means the following things:

• a quiet neighbourhood where I can hear the crickets at night and my neighbour's generator is not my constant bane
• basic necessities: clean water, clean environment, security, constant electricity
• air conditioning, if I so will
• within bicycling distance of my place of work, or wherever my daily engagement is located 

Daily voluntary work

This means that whatever tasks I commit to only a daily basis, I want it to be because I'm obsessed with the vision of the result that every single task would culminate in versus having to do it just because I need to earn a living or impress someone. Intrinsic reasons, you get it? A lot of the activities I do today, I get bored with them and they require me to be very disciplined to complete. I feel like it's actually possible for one's dependence of discipline to be very low when one's tasks are very compelling. That zone is where I want to be as much as possible. I've experienced it only a few times over the course of my 6 year career when I was obsessed with the goal at the end of my work but this hardly ever happens.

Good friends

For a lot of people, I know this is a lover. But for me I've been able to distill it. I generally need to have a buddy in whatever activities I commit to. I find that it does wonders for my mental state when I'm able to talk over lunch with someone. A conversation which is not superficial, but honest. Where we can talk about our challenges without fear of being judged. Where I can be vulnerable and honest without fearing reprisals from a friend who feels attacked. For the past few months, I've had this for myself with a colleague and I always LOOOK forward to that time of the day. Besides not being able to kiss him, I think he's been most of the things I'd want in a lover.

Another example is that the period during which I was most consistent with going to the gym was a time that I had a gym buddy. After I didn't have easy access to that relationship anymore, my consistency has literally dropped. It's just my personality and I generally need that outside push to get up to necessary activities that require constant effort to get on.

If all of this is in a lover, then so be it. But why should I be blind to the fact that the only relationship benefit you might not be able to get from a good friendship is sex. Now, given how hard it's been for me to find a compatible lover, won't it be lame of me to ignore the joys of other relationship and focus on the misfortune of my lovelessness?

Financial security

Always have enough money in store to afford great food and living conditions for up to two years

Evidence of impact

Let me just say that one of the best feelings that I get is when someone reaches out to me to show appreciation for something I made: wrote, designed and/or built. This feeling is one that I value a lot and makes me feel like my existence on earth has meaning. Like I'm valuable.

Some mainstream things that I actually don't need to be happy

• A fancy car, or a fleet of them
• Sex
• Looking conventionally attractive and getting admired for my looks
• A lover
• Having someone/people that checks up on me regularly to ask how I am. I'm always fine, thank you
• Circle of friends. I'm too sensitive and where three or more are gathered, something insensitive is bound to be said or done. Also, there's the chance that I would feel left-out of a conversation that the others are having because I don't engage a lot with pop culture
• Drugs/alcohol

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