LONELY BLACK BOY

One or two days after I paid someone I met on Grindr for sex , a man who happens to be in my top 10 favorite people met on Grindr so far told me via WhatsApp that we can't be friends anymore. Sola and I had been so compatible that he might have been my first boyfriend ever if he had not been due to get married (to a woman) in less than a year from the time we started dating. Much to his heartbreak at the time, I stopped our relationship from counting down the romantic path, not seeing the point in going into something that had a very obvious and appalling expiration date; asides also having more  expectations - at the time - from a boyfriend than he was meeting. Nonetheless, our friendship survived that period and we kept meeting for weekend hangouts frequently where neither of us wanted to leave the other's company, up until he had to relocate from Nigeria to Asia where he then got married shortly after. ----------------------------------------- Sola had visited Nig...

I just got back to my desk from lunch break at the office canteen. Lunch time took the better part of an hour which was spent with one of my top office crushes. Standing on the queue together, waiting to pay and actually eating the barely edible food were the activities we did together in that period. I feel fortunate every opportunity I get to spend time with him. He's a good person and apart from that, he's very good to look at too. It's never a big challenge to get a smile out of him. My dream man, more or less. His ass is flat, but that does not take anything away from his charm on me. At worst, it's just something for me to tease him about when he's feeling full of his good looks. This afternoon's lunch was the fourth mealtime we've spend together this week. The first was yesterday morning at breakfast after I ran into him in the lunch room. And I hope it continues in this way. I feel fulfilled every time he shares some experience of his with me or ...

Back in October 2018, I decided to take three weeks off from work. I was feeling pretty despondent about the whole responsibility and ambition and even, life thing, so I figured that time away from the regular was just what I needed to find my productivity and purpose again. Perhaps, another reason I was feeling low was my recent failing at finding love with a love interest, despite my committing quite some time and effort to it. W A N D E R L U S T Earlier in the year, I'd hoped to be able to travel out of Nigeria during my annual leave (East Africa or Europe). Alas, I never got to planning this out on time despite having the budget for it (I'm so lazy, sometimes it amazes me how I've managed to come up with the amount of content on this blog). So, I settled for doing a mini-Nigerian tour. After what was not really a lot of thought, I settled on Kano, Abuja and Uyo. Kano, because a guy I'd met on Facebook a few weeks before - and got along pretty well with - ...

Last Sunday, while perusing Grindr from the chair where I was using my laptop, I came across one profile that had stood out to me a couple of times before in the past couple of weeks. Using decent English, the guy shared on his profile message: "Yes, I do this for money. Come and beat me". Previously when I'd read that message, I promptly skipped over it. I had no business conversing with a cheap and undignified prostitute, or did I? Well, this Sunday, I'm sure it was more of curiosity and hunger for adventure than my hornyness that drove me to send this guy (let's call him Poise) a message. "How much", I texted, not bothering with any pleasantries. In the same vein, he replied with "10,000 Naira". "Oh, not so bad", I thought to myself. If I'm feeling happy with myself, I can spend that on feeding and entertainment just for myself in one or two days. With no financial pressure to haggle and with me in quite a charitable mo...

My untouched pack of 30 PREP tablets Last Wednesday, I got a call from Community Health Centre (or Population Council), Yaba. I'd first visited the facility in March of this year. I needed PEP (Post-exposure prophylaxis) because I'd allowed the person I was seeing at the time to cum up my ass two days before that and I wasn't sure of his status, even though he looked really healthy. Worse still, I just sort of broke up with this person over an argument. Luckily for me, before the 72-hour window elapsed, I got to chat with a new friend who encouraged me to go for PEP. I remembered and called up a guy I'd met on Grindr earlier in the year who claimed to have access to PREP (Pre-exposure prophylaxis). I figured he might also have PEP which is what I needed at that time. Fortunately, he did. He gave me directions to the clinic and I was there the very next day. "What a cutie", I thought when I met him at the entrance of the clinic that Tuesday morning (he...

Mark and Ethan (photo from the couple's Facebook page) Please read the first sub-section of this article to learn about the significance of Mark and Ethan's relationship for me. TL;DR: The beauty and genuineness of their relationship helped me keep the hope of finding love for myself alive, despite all the challenges I've faced on that journey. What does this mean for me? The first emotion I feel is shock. When I was writing that article about the couple's YouTube channel at the start of this year, I couldn't have imagined that they would part ways in this same 2018. Funny enough though, I'm not sad or depressed; not even in the slightest bit. It was clear to see from their break-up announcement video that their love for each other is still very much alive. They both said that they shall remain best of friends and it was comforting to see Mark express affection for Ethan in the video by rubbing gently on Ethan's hairy lap while Ethan was sharing...

This morning, I almost ended a NoFap streak that I've been on for at least, the last one month. I've not opened xVideos or amateur gay porn Twitter for even once in that period, these two being my normal go-to places for on-demand sexual entertainment. I had followed a Twitter notification in my e-mail inbox to a popular picture-tweet whose joke I didn't get. In the process of reading the tweet comments (to help me get the joke), the display picture of one of the commentators caught my attention and without much thought, I opened their profile on another tab. The picture was of the well-toned torso of a black man. And even though my conscious didn't realize why I clicked into the picture so fast and thoughtlessly, my brain knew what it was doing. It remembers like its yesterday, the delicious avalanche of pleasure-inducing chemicals it gets bathed in whenever I've dug into such profiles in the past. A few seconds after I opened the profile (having given up ...