LONELY BLACK BOY

My untouched pack of 30 PREP tablets Last Wednesday, I got a call from Community Health Centre (or Population Council), Yaba. I'd first visited the facility in March of this year. I needed PEP (Post-exposure prophylaxis) because I'd allowed the person I was seeing at the time to cum up my ass two days before that and I wasn't sure of his status, even though he looked really healthy. Worse still, I just sort of broke up with this person over an argument. Luckily for me, before the 72-hour window elapsed, I got to chat with a new friend who encouraged me to go for PEP. I remembered and called up a guy I'd met on Grindr earlier in the year who claimed to have access to PREP (Pre-exposure prophylaxis). I figured he might also have PEP which is what I needed at that time. Fortunately, he did. He gave me directions to the clinic and I was there the very next day. "What a cutie", I thought when I met him at the entrance of the clinic that Tuesday morning (he...

Mark and Ethan (photo from the couple's Facebook page) Please read the first sub-section of this article to learn about the significance of Mark and Ethan's relationship for me. TL;DR: The beauty and genuineness of their relationship helped me keep the hope of finding love for myself alive, despite all the challenges I've faced on that journey. What does this mean for me? The first emotion I feel is shock. When I was writing that article about the couple's YouTube channel at the start of this year, I couldn't have imagined that they would part ways in this same 2018. Funny enough though, I'm not sad or depressed; not even in the slightest bit. It was clear to see from their break-up announcement video that their love for each other is still very much alive. They both said that they shall remain best of friends and it was comforting to see Mark express affection for Ethan in the video by rubbing gently on Ethan's hairy lap while Ethan was sharing...

This morning, I almost ended a NoFap streak that I've been on for at least, the last one month. I've not opened xVideos or amateur gay porn Twitter for even once in that period, these two being my normal go-to places for on-demand sexual entertainment. I had followed a Twitter notification in my e-mail inbox to a popular picture-tweet whose joke I didn't get. In the process of reading the tweet comments (to help me get the joke), the display picture of one of the commentators caught my attention and without much thought, I opened their profile on another tab. The picture was of the well-toned torso of a black man. And even though my conscious didn't realize why I clicked into the picture so fast and thoughtlessly, my brain knew what it was doing. It remembers like its yesterday, the delicious avalanche of pleasure-inducing chemicals it gets bathed in whenever I've dug into such profiles in the past. A few seconds after I opened the profile (having given up ...

It's being ages since I completed a single blog post. So, to prevent my ever-present resistance to productivity, I will delve right into the meat of the matter. My aim in this article is to share my personal journey of coming out to two of my straight male friends and how things changed from that point on. Hi Felix. Yesterday sucked, because I was nabbed kissing a boy in public in the era of 14 years I and my colleague-turned-close-friend, Felix had decided to take on a private project together. This was in late 2014, a few weeks after I'd first joined Grindr in November. The owner of the project was a colleague of Felix's brother who works as a manager in one of the Tier 1 banks in Nigeria. We had decided that we'd do some work on the private project after work that fateful Thursday. However, that did not stop me from agreeing to an evening date with Fola that same day. Fola was a guy I'd meet on Grindr a few weeks ago. We'd been chatting for about thr...

WE DID IT!!! 💪💪💪 Yes. That's it. You can go back to what you were doing now. -------------------------------------- Okay okay, I was just kidding. I'm sure you want to hear a little more about my experience. I, in my innate gracious manner, shall now oblige you with more details. First things first, around the beginning of this challenge, I wrote a post, so you might wanna take a look at that to get up to date. Now let's get right into it. How difficult was it to achieve this? You might not believe it, but I must admit that it was not very hard to stay committed to my goal of staying away from porn and masturbation during this challenge. For the 31 days of this challenge, I would say I got really tempted to fap (jerk off to porn) at most 5 different times. Every other time, I was either not at home, too tired or mentally engaged with something or someone to think about fapping. You know, I would never really know how much of a role that going into thi...

By the end of today, I would have abstained from jerking myself off to pornographic pictures/videos (or other forms of erotica) for 27 days straight. Yes! Being that this is something I used to do routinely, more or less every day, it's no mean feat. This Friday, I would finally be free from the cage in which I have willfully put myself. Whether I get out of it or not is a story for the next post. I can't talk about my success, of course, without mentioning my mysterious NoFap buddy who was actually the catalyst for this whole thing. Yes, mysterious as in I don't know the basic things about him. Not his name, where he lives, what he does and definitely not what he looks like. Yet, we've supported each other to stay on track to achieve our mutual goal of self-restraint for the past 27 days. You know, sometimes I think I had it a little easier than my NoFap buddy. Because while I committed to NoFap at the beginning of the challenge (13th February 2018), he committed t...

Intermittent Fasting Three/four weekends ago, I stumbled on a YouTube video whose concept was about giving your brain a better energy source to double its operation efficiency. Little did I know that unlike most of the videos I watch or self-help stuff that I read, this was actually going to change my life with near-immediate effect. The point of the video is that the brain runs twice as well with energy released from burning fat reserves versus that released from burning sugar in the bloodstream. So, if you eat regularly throughout the course of the day, then there will be ample sugar in your bloodstream for the brain to work with. Meaning that your fat reserves and the energy there-in would remain inaccessible to the brain. Hence, your brain won't work as efficiently as it could. The secret to unleashing your brain's preferred type of energy, hence, is to limit how much sugar is available in your bloodstream for most of the day. And the most effective way to achieve...

First, I'll like to define what I mean by flaky, because a quick research on the word revealed how its meaning can be quite ambiguous. Really, it's very simple. In this article, when I say flaky, I mean "likely to flake out of" an appointment. If you don't know what flake out means, well, there was a link for you. Now, why am I writing about this, you might ask? Someone I met on Grindr this week flaked out on coming over to my place just last (Friday) night. And one thing that really amuses me is the fact that I'm not as surprised or upset about this as I have been in past instances. It's like my mind was totally prepared for it, even though, I spoke to him on the phone a few hours before we were supposed to meet and he didn't give me any hints that he would be cancelling on me. And it's not even like that was the first time we would be meeting, no! We had had lunch together on Thursday somewhere close to my workplace. I left that meeting fe...

I hardly ever watch the television. Hence, for most of my post under-grad years, one of my few go-to sources of entertainment (roughly 5 years) has been YouTube. I'm subscribed to several YouTube channels and I can't deny the fact that the majority of these channels have added a lot of laughter, joy, inspiration, and knowledge to my life in the past few years. Of all these channels, if I were to pick out two and delete all the rest, my choice would be as follows: MarkE Miller's channel or Mark & Ethan The School of Life I pick these two channels for totally different reasons, but the common thing is that each of them has enriched my life beyond my expectations since I started watching them. Now, let's talk about my favorite YouTube channels. MarkE Miller's channel or Mark & Ethan Mark and Ethan, my favorite couple in the world The MarkE Miller Youtube channel is owned by a talented American videographer and vlogger who goes by the name of M...

Let's call him Janis . I met Janis on Grindr about three weeks ago, and we undoubtedly had some chemistry. He was definitely more conversational than 90% of the guys I engage with on the app. Soon after our first few messages, he asked that we go on a date. Of course, I accepted since he came across as a sensible person. After a few frustrating misses, we finally made it happen last Saturday. It was at one of the eat-out places in VI. We arrived there at about 8 pm and took a seat in the outdoor seating area, quickly getting to the business of demystifying one another. He led, telling me the interesting story of the event which triggered his homocuriosity and subsequently, led him to having affairs with other guys. After that, he told me of how his several failed relationships have left him in a state of despair about gay partnerships. I think he told me this because when he asked what I was looking for, I told him, without mincing words, that I'm looking for a boyfriend. ...

I was blocked on Grindr And because I'm made of flesh and blood, I feel rejected. I feel that subtle throb of pain, lurking in the background of my heart. Once again, my fragile heart is trying to recover from a kick; a kick back from fantasia into reality. But I've done this more times than I can count on my fingers. Hence, I can carry on pretty well with the rest of my day's activities while this healing process in underway. I don't know why getting blocked by this person even matters at all to me. He sent me a pic and from the look of things, he probably won't have been my type anyways. He's the daddy type. Old but muscular and stocky. He sent me a selfie which showed he had a six-pack. In response, I sent him two of my best. Two seconds after, the Grindr thread disappeared right before my very eyes. He gave me no chance whatsoever to explain myself for looking so... (whatever way I looked that is apparently the opposite of what he's looking out...

My latest and sole crush is my colleague who sits adjacent to me in the office. His name is Namzo*. And I just had to admit today, that he's got me smitten. If he asked me out today, I'd say yes like I've been waiting all my life for it. Namzo is not a particularly physically attractive person and at first glance, he didn't draw a second look from me. This is not to say he's anything comparable to an ogre though; he's got moderate good looks. However, for the first few days in the office, I barely looked at his face and would probably not have recognized him if I'd seen him on the road during that period. Yet, just a few weeks after, I'm in this state where I have to fight off fantasies of us being partners in a blossoming love relationship. The first time I spoke to him was after a meeting at company HQ. I asked for his name and asked him to tell me what he does for the company. His initial answer was sort of vague, so I don't real...