LONELY BLACK BOY

In many ways, I can describe myself as a minimalist. I'm acutely aware of the fact that more possessions inevitably means more responsibilities (maintenance/decision making). Recently, I've been thinking a lot about pulling back from the endless rat race and perhaps, repurpose my life around the experiences that I actually value versus constantly seeking to be more skilled in my chosen career line so I can earn more and get closer to the top. There's a lot of life to be enjoyed in-between bottom and top and my aim is to laser-focus on that instead of living a life whose primary aim is to get closer to the top. In that light, I thought it might be a meaningful exercise to do some introspection and come up with a list of the individual components I need to have a fulfilling life. Seems like a good first step towards designing a deliberate lifestyle where you're actually working towards a desired and clear vision of the future. Without that, I think I'll tend not to ...

Colonoscopy! Me?? How??? I'm 28; 28 on the dot; cos' it's my birthday today. Colonoscopy, however, is an examination that is only routinely advised for people that are 40 years or older. In essence, a lot of people would say I'm too young for a colonoscopy. Actually, that's what an older friend of mine said when I told him I'd be going for a colonoscopy the next day. The only reason this is here is to gross you out but yeah, the toilet bowl came close to being this red during that 1 week (Source:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hematochezia#/media/File:Bloody_stool-1.jpg ) Well, sometime in Feb/March 2019, I had a lot of blood coming out with my loose stool for almost a week. After all of the stool sample tests at the hospital lab came out negative for infection, the GP advised me to do a colonoscopy so he could make a diagnosis. By this time, my stool had become normal again though. No more foul smelling blood coming out the rear end. Meanwhile, I used ...

It's a rant. I didn't even proofread this. I just let it all out. Hope there is at least some coherence in there. Forgive any typos/incoherence. ---------- My period of exploring anal sex is over once again. To be honest, I think it might be so because I messed it up (pun intended) myself. Virtually all the times I bottomed, it was unplanned, random. Meaning that I didn't have time to prepare and then things more often than not got messy. Which inevitably has an effect on how I feel about the whole thing. It's hard not to feel some shame when at the end of a process, there's an overhanging smell of your own poop in the room. Switching places with any of my partners in any of those scenarios, I feel like I would be scarred and probably not try sex again with the person until we're sure everything would be clean the next time. You know, these experiences leave some questions in my head regarding my repeat sexual partners? Is it that the pleasure of the sex f...

Yesterday, I finally got up to doing something that I've been thinking about doing for, what, 3 weeks? I asked my colleague Adi (who I first met through Grindr four years ago but never met in person until last year at the office) out for a hangout. I'm always delighted to see him in the office - like bulb lights up in your head delighted - so I just thought it'd be nice to enjoy some of that feeling in my free weekend time. Photo by  Zun Zun  from  Pexels I've been thinking of doing this for at least the last two weeks. But I'm only just doing it now because I feel like it'd hurt if he says no. Besides that, I don't want him thinking that ulterior motives are my motivation for doing this. Granted, I probably won't be asking him out if he wasn't someone that I fancy. I'd love a chance to explore intimacy with him for sure if I get the chance. But being someone who declined back in 2015 when I tried to meet him in person - saying I'm not...

For the past two days, I've had my 64 square-foot room all to myself. It’s a new experience, well sort of. A guy on met on Grindr in February who I dated for a week and has accommodation problems has been staying with me for the last 7 weeks. I broke things off barely a week into it, not because that was my intention starting out but because I felt choked by his always being there. I've not seen myself lose attraction to anyone faster than I did with this person. It feels to me like I woke out of a trance. After we broke things off, I agreed to allow him keep staying with me since I had said 'yes' during the period of infatuation. Besides, I felt like I could tolerate the pain of sharing my personal space for some time, while fulfilling my commitment to being a kind person. Staying at my place is of great value to him because of how far his own house is from his place of work where he has to go to every day of the week. Two-to-three weeks into us staying together, I...

Tuesday before the last, I was standing in the bath, about to take a soap-free shower to cool me down just before retiring to bed for the night. Feeling safe in my privacy, I let out a fart. However, something was strange! The fart had felt too material. Almost like I mistakenly let out some poop. Of course, this had never happened to me. I looked to the bath floor to confirm my suspicion. But instead of poop, what I saw was a thick mix of transparent mucus mixed with blood. I blanched. Then right after, I squatted to pick up the gooey mass that just fell out of me. It was actually cohesive enough for me to be able to pick all of it up at once. I picked it up to my nose for a smell test and it smelled really foul. "This is a first", I mused. But I didn't think much of it. I washed it down the bathroom drain right before going on to have my shower which preceded a short night's sleep. Two days after, I would take a sick day off from work because my first bowel ...

I'm writing this post at 11:30 PM on Sunday; it's past my bedtime because I work an 8 - 5 but I just gotta do this! The passion is burning and I'm not even feeling sleepy. I slept/played away most of my day anyway and then I had the most amazing discussion just a couple of hours ago. I got a new opportunity to consider in my career that I totally was not expecting and I practically just have to sleep over it and decide whether I want it or not. At the start of today, even 3 hours ago, I could never have guessed that I'd have this sort of opportunity on my plate now. Life is amazing! Now, back to the article. ----------- Yesterday morning (Saturday), I had my breakfast at The Place restaurant on Odeku, V.I., Lagos. This was around 10 a.m. I had business in the area, so it was an easy first choice for breakfast. While I was on the queue waiting for my turn to be attended, this bald, bearded and in-shape guy donning a green jersey and black jean trousers appe...

One or two days after I paid someone I met on Grindr for sex , a man who happens to be in my top 10 favorite people met on Grindr so far told me via WhatsApp that we can't be friends anymore. Sola and I had been so compatible that he might have been my first boyfriend ever if he had not been due to get married (to a woman) in less than a year from the time we started dating. Much to his heartbreak at the time, I stopped our relationship from counting down the romantic path, not seeing the point in going into something that had a very obvious and appalling expiration date; asides also having more  expectations - at the time - from a boyfriend than he was meeting. Nonetheless, our friendship survived that period and we kept meeting for weekend hangouts frequently where neither of us wanted to leave the other's company, up until he had to relocate from Nigeria to Asia where he then got married shortly after. ----------------------------------------- Sola had visited Nig...

I just got back to my desk from lunch break at the office canteen. Lunch time took the better part of an hour which was spent with one of my top office crushes. Standing on the queue together, waiting to pay and actually eating the barely edible food were the activities we did together in that period. I feel fortunate every opportunity I get to spend time with him. He's a good person and apart from that, he's very good to look at too. It's never a big challenge to get a smile out of him. My dream man, more or less. His ass is flat, but that does not take anything away from his charm on me. At worst, it's just something for me to tease him about when he's feeling full of his good looks. This afternoon's lunch was the fourth mealtime we've spend together this week. The first was yesterday morning at breakfast after I ran into him in the lunch room. And I hope it continues in this way. I feel fulfilled every time he shares some experience of his with me or ...

Back in October 2018, I decided to take three weeks off from work. I was feeling pretty despondent about the whole responsibility and ambition and even, life thing, so I figured that time away from the regular was just what I needed to find my productivity and purpose again. Perhaps, another reason I was feeling low was my recent failing at finding love with a love interest, despite my committing quite some time and effort to it. W A N D E R L U S T Earlier in the year, I'd hoped to be able to travel out of Nigeria during my annual leave (East Africa or Europe). Alas, I never got to planning this out on time despite having the budget for it (I'm so lazy, sometimes it amazes me how I've managed to come up with the amount of content on this blog). So, I settled for doing a mini-Nigerian tour. After what was not really a lot of thought, I settled on Kano, Abuja and Uyo. Kano, because a guy I'd met on Facebook a few weeks before - and got along pretty well with - ...

Last Sunday, while perusing Grindr from the chair where I was using my laptop, I came across one profile that had stood out to me a couple of times before in the past couple of weeks. Using decent English, the guy shared on his profile message: "Yes, I do this for money. Come and beat me". Previously when I'd read that message, I promptly skipped over it. I had no business conversing with a cheap and undignified prostitute, or did I? Well, this Sunday, I'm sure it was more of curiosity and hunger for adventure than my hornyness that drove me to send this guy (let's call him Poise) a message. "How much", I texted, not bothering with any pleasantries. In the same vein, he replied with "10,000 Naira". "Oh, not so bad", I thought to myself. If I'm feeling happy with myself, I can spend that on feeding and entertainment just for myself in one or two days. With no financial pressure to haggle and with me in quite a charitable mo...