My first time - Anal sex

Prior to this date, my stance on gay anal sex was a non-negotiable 'no'. I did not care if I was to be the giver or the receiver. I just would not involve my self in such a dirty, inconvenient and stereotypical activity just because I happen to be attracted to men. Many years back, I had tried out anal penetration on my own by using some baby oil in conjunction with a candle. My takeaways from that experiment are as follows:

• anal sex is not pleasurable and slightly painful; it is at best, an inconvenience I can live without
• anal is sex freaking dirty. Damn, just look at that shit all over the candle!

Nasty-ass jam doughnuts

Who was to know that it would not take any cajoling or convincing to have me change my entire opinion about this activity?

I was at a birthday party at work when his text message came in via Whatsapp that Friday evening. He was one of the guys who I had added on Grindr but with whom things happened to fizzle out after a couple of messages exchanged. We had not been in touch for several months after our meeting on Grindr.

It was black Friday and he suggested that we "spend black Friday evening together". Alas, all of my horniness and romance-deprivation overshadowed whatever red flags came up in my assessment of Jake, so it did not take long for me to agree to his proposal. A couple of hours later, I was on my way to our agreed meeting point - a cinema in Surulere, Lagos. A colleague dropped me off.

I got into the mall and walked around a little bit before calling to tell him that I had arrived. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he arrived. Good enough, he was not far out of my expectations from the pictures I had seen of him. I proceeded to follow him to his house which we got to by boarding two different keke-marwas (auto rickshaw).

The place was totally underwhelming, but then, it was like 11 pm; my fate was sealed. There was power but the fan in his cubicle sized room was not working. There had allegedly been an electrical surge in there a few days ago which had damaged a bunch of his appliances.

We got down to talking and he turned out to be a pretty good conversationalist. His sense of humor was quite attractive as well. At some point, he set out some alcohol on the table which was nothing other than the bare floor of his room (we were seating on the ground). I don't like alcohol but I am open to having bits of it here and there, when it's free and easy to access.

After like an hour talking, I felt pretty much at home with Jake. I like to think that the alcohol had a significant contribution to this. Notable points of the conversation are as follows:

• He was a network marketer for a particular range of special healthcare products and he gave me a demonstration of how regular bottled-water is acidic i.e. toxic to the human body and how every cup of water I take totally needs to be treated with one particular Longrich product

• He showed me pictures of his girlfriend who happens to be the sister of a celeb in the Nigerian music industry. He went on to tell of how the girl could not get enough of him and how she comes around most weekends. He told me about another girl who loved him dearly as well. He also went on to muse out loud about how his roommates must think he's straight (since he has girls all over him), meanwhile, here he was about to get down and dirty with another man

Soon enough, we were done with the conversation and went on to the main business of the night by means of a make-out session. It was intense and exciting for me as it had been a really long time since I touched anyone. Before I knew what was happening, he had lubed up and located my virgin hole with the head of his hard and bare dick. This is the point where I usually stiffen up my buttocks to shut off access to my asshole. This time however, I found myself totally receptive (legs spread wide apart) to his advance and in no time, he was completely inside me. It was so hard to believe that something I had dreaded for so long was finally happening and without any preceding drama. At some point, I even had to confirm that he was actually inside me by using my hand. Oh shit, it was! "Isn't this meant to be painful?", I mused.

The session was between five and ten minutes long in one position (missionary), and I would say it was fun for the most part. As a matter of fact, I think that first time is the best I ever had. All romantic activity ended as soon as he came, pulled out and cleaned up. I wanted to cuddle and make out but dude wasn't having it. When at one point, he rudely pushed me off of him, I quietly hugged my pillow and went to sleep.

The next morning, he told me how good and tight my ass was. He also told me how he found it hard to believe it was my first time because I took his dick so well. Oh well, I guess that makes me a natural. He even asked for another round just as I was preparing to leave; a request which I either ignored or sharply declined. For one, I was not happy with the way he acted like I was non-existent as soon as he came. In hindsight, I can understand he might have been very tired, but I think a little consideration and communication would have gone a long away. Also, I found it hard to bask in the glory of all the compliments as all I could think of was that I had just had unprotected sex with a total stranger and was likely to now be infected with the HIV.

For the next few days, I could not stop reading about HIV/AIDS online. I found out everything I needed to know about the disease, including that I could not confirm my status until about three months after exposure. I felt like the end of my life was here and it was painful to imagine that my first time could also be my last. I could not wait for the window to elapse.