I failed at the no fap challenge on day 18

The title says it all. I quit the no fap challenge 'cold turkey' on Friday night by jerking off to gay porn on Twitter. For some reason, I don't feel very bad about it. I am proud of how far in I went without jerking off, even thought that's not good enough excuse for my relapse.

I was feeling emotionally low, lower than I have in any recent times on Friday night and I think this was the major reason for my relapse. It was a long day at work; I was unproductive and feeling quite unfulfilled at the end of the day because I did not achieve any of my goals for the day. Also, I had to deal with a flat tire at 10pm on a Friday night. Sucks right?

Below is an excerpt from my journal containing the thought process that permitted me to relapse into my old fapping ways after keeping away from it for such a long time:

"How much longer will I be able to resist this. I'd better just do it sooner rather than later anyway"

From tomorrow (Monday) I intend to go all the way back into the challenge, of course only after I have had my fill of jerking off all weekend long. Yeah! I've really missed it.

I apologize if I have disappointed you by my failure at this. Maybe I would have kept at it had you said some words of encouragement to me and let me know I am not the only one who cares about my success at my personal commitment.

Damn. I can't help but feel now though that I should have at least tried to make it to that mystical 21-day mark, which is an important milestone for habit-building.

Well. I will keep you posted. Stay hip!

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